Below is part of a comment I wrote in response to a post on Orthoprax. Here's what I wrote:
... Firstly, while it's nice that "traditional" Judaism values family, I believe it's really just apologetics to equate that with valuing women. Judaism, based on the traditional sources, does not value women. They are treated as chattel in Tanach: a man can divorce a woman for any reason; irreparably shame her if he merely suspects that she's cheating; cut off her hand if she crushes a man's testicles while trying to defend her husband.
They are also treated like crap throughout the Mishna and Talmud. Later commentaries (Ibn Ezra, from memory, but I could be mistaken) say that they are actually not obligated in Torah at all. In other words, Judaism is a religion for men, not women. Any attempt that a woman makes to take some kind of ownership of "her" religion is considered worthless. Conveniently, keeping mitzvot that you're actually commanded to do is "worth" more than ones you keep voluntarily (contrary to my logic, at least), so with that line of reasoning, women's attempts to connect to God are meaningless.
Having said that, when I compare myself to some women I know I've been very lucky with how men have responded to me and my opinions. Some men (my husband, my father, various rabbis that have taught me over the years) go way beyond the apologetics. Jewish morality, despite mainstream belief, does change over time and I'm optimistic about "women's issues". Sure, we're 50 years behind the rest of the world in this but we are in everything.
More than anything I'm encouraged by my husband, who made me (well, gently suggested in such reasonable terms that I couldn't refuse) take turns making kiddush and saying the bracha on the challa with him. I can't do it in front of most of our friends or they'd freak out, but it means a lot to me. He also told me about a guy who'd confessed to pretending not to be able to do housework -- hubby said he was an idiot. He did everything around the house while I was researching and writing my thesis. And he came home from a shalom zachar complaining about how the rabbi was going on about how wonderful it was to have a boy (I was pregnant with my daughter at the time; we knew we were having a girl). My husband the feminist.
Because he's so great I'd like to invite him to share my blog with me. As soon as he signs up with Blogger, he'll be in charge of funny stuff on this blog, so the humor levels should rise pretty soon. He may or may not talk. That's up to him.
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