Davening

I can't express how glad I am that this round of chagim are over. Why do they have to be bunched together like that? And this was a good year... I didn't have to take any leave from work.

But I did notice something interesting. The more skeptical I get, the more I enjoy davening. I used to daven three times a day but with my baby taking up so much of my life, I'm lucky if I squeeze in Shacharit on Shabbat morning these days. By Simchat Torah I never wanted to eat again, but I was still grateful when a friend held my daughter so that I could daven unimpeded.

I've been trying to work out why I like davening so much now. I'm well aware that guys who "have" to daven three times a day might not feel the same...

Firstly I think it's a more intellectual process. Because I'm not talking to God so much, I actually have time to read the words. And boy, are some of them fascinating. Especially some of the ones that don't come up that often, like the prayer for rain. And some of it, like Hallel, is just beautiful. Lines of simple, stark beauty like
" לֹֽא אָמ֥וּת כִּי־אֶֽחְיֶ֑ה וַ֝אֲסַפֵּ֗ר מַֽעֲשֵׂ֥י יָֽהּ׃"
"I will not die for I will live, and tell the works of God" (118:17)

just get me every time.

The other thing I really like about davening is that now that I don't have to feel guilty about my lack of kavana, I can just enjoy the meditative time to myself. It's quite nice really.