Another Unchosen review

I finally read Unchosen. I found it an enjoyable read, it was well written. I got through it on one Friday night -- if anything it was too short. I liked how she wove the storylines together. There wasn't enough of the author in the book though; I felt unable to judge it accurately because she didn't really state her "conflicts of interest" the way anthropolgists do in ethnographies. (Not really conflicts of interest, they just talk about themselves so that you get to know the prism through which a society is being viewed.) You do get some sense of her and certainly see that she's very sympathetic to the Chasidic rebels and obviously quite involved with them, given how involved she gets with Yossi towards the end. But not enough for me. I just wanted more overall I guess.

A few points it raised for me:
1. Thank GOD I'm not Satmar.

2. In spite of growing up worlds away from Satmar, I identified a lot with Dini. Mainly about not wanting Rabbis to have control over my body. That is for me, and me alone. (OK, if I have to I might trust a doctor.) And wanting to feel normal and attractive, as a feeling quite apart from wanting to actually pick up guys who aren't my husband.

3. I also liked how Leah decided to bring up her daughter. In a sense it has given me the answer to how I want to bring up my daughter: with knowledge of her heritage, and the tools to be religious if she wants to be, but without fear or coercion, and of course with ample skills to make her own way in the world. How that translates in practical terms will be difficult. It will probably mean I'll have be much less lax myself, so that I can teach by example. But I somehow feel more confident that I can play by ear, and always answer her questions honestly.

4. We haven't hidden the book away but have left it out for people to see. The reactions have been interesting. One friend said it's just like reading lashon hara. Another said it highlights the problems in Jewish education across the board. Which is a fair point, considering the rising levels of drug abuse and unprotected sex that seems to be going on. Sure, it's lower than the rest of the population but that gap is becoming narrower, or at least appears to be.

5. Guilt is powerful, but not all-powerful. It's something that's holding me back in many ways, but eventually I know I'll be able to keep the positive and lose the negative aspects of being part of this amorphous thing called Judaism.