What I've dropped

For the people to whom this is actually important, or for those who are just nosy, I thought I'd list the commandments I've dropped over my course to becoming a skeptic. I'll go in chronological order (earliest first). For the record, I think I'm 80-90% orthoprax. The remaining 10-20% is generally only in private, or where I wouldn't be seen by anyone I know. This will change as I feel like it.

1. Chalav yisrael was the first to go. That was ages ago.
2. I've always been a bit slack with brachot and birkat hamazon. I still say things out of habit but I always forgot half the time and still do. I'm just too absent-minded.
3. I started wearing pants and short sleeves after I got married. But I still cover my hair (most of the time anyway) which is fun, because it confuses people.
4. I haven't davened regularly for a long time now. But I still say a bit when I'm in shule on Shabbat. I quite like it.
5. I haven't learned for a while either.
6. I drink "non-kosher" wine.
7. I eat non-kosher vegetarian food. And packaged food... somehow it seems less treif. (Well, it's probably only gelatin and we always held that it was OK anyway.) I will probably eat treif meat at some stage, but our kitchen is 100% kosher. Well, as kosher as it ever was. Some people wouldn't eat in it.
   
8. I don't wait very long between meat and milk, although I don't eat them together.
   
9. On Shabbat I will turn lights on and off if I need to. And I push the button at the crosswalk if I've got my baby with me. And turn the "blech" off after we're finished with it.

That's about it. My husband, who initially suggested I go through all 613 commandments, made an excellent point as he read this post over my shoulder. He said that many of these things depend on where you're coming from. To some, nothing I've done is a big deal at all. To others, I was an apikores all along, I just didn't know it. Certainly many of the things I've done can be justified one way or another. But that's not really the point. The point is that I've made a mindshift. I used to justify the things I was lax in. Now, I keep what I want to and don't keep what I don't want to keep. I used to defend the modern Orthodox viewpoint until I was blue in the face. Now, I still see it as preferable to the Charedi viewpoint, which I believe is more flawed than MO. But at the end of the day, I don't believe in either. So my only real justification is this: the god I don't believe in lets me.